Break ups suck, there’s no way around it. Coming to the conclusion someone isn’t meant for you, I'd rather drink a gallon of cucumber jalapeño margaritas than deal with that mental dialogue. Spare me! However, I do believe that people pass through your story for a reason. A situation-ship, a relationship or even a marriage, it happened for a reason babes.

Sometimes, or in my case, most of the time - we find out why way later. In the moment it’s always harder to understand but I promise you, eventually you do get the answers to your questions, when you don’t even need them anymore.

So, what can you do in the meantime?

DO:

Work out:

You don’t have to start training for a marathon, but getting outside for a walk to clear your mind really does help. Exercise releases endorphins—aka the happy hormones—and happy vibes are exactly what you need right now.

Eat healthier:

Did you really think you could do one without the other? I’m not saying don’t have your binge night with a pint of ice cream, because sometimes that’s exactly what you need. Cry it out, watch your favorite show, and let yourself feel it. But after that night, we’re thinking long-term. Nourish your body the way it deserves to be nourished.

Nurture your friendships:

Your friends are your soulmates, too. Whether it’s a girls’ night out to help you feel like yourself again or a coffee date where you vent about everything on your mind, lean on them. My girls and I always say Starbucks knows all our secrets, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My friends have given me understanding and perspectives I never would’ve found on my own. Sometimes, in the middle of a breakup, you simply forget what a badass you are—and that’s your girls’ job: to remind you. A true friend is always just a phone call away. Be grateful for them.

Go no contact

Thirty days gives you enough time to process the initial shock, reconnect with yourself, and start focusing on your own needs instead of theirs. Once those 30 days are up, you’ll have a much clearer head and can decide what’s best for you—whether that’s meeting up for closure or never looking back.

Clean breaks are hard, but so is staying stuck.

Lastly, treat yourself:

Buy yourself a vibrator (or two). You can thank me later.

And remember…

Someone better always comes along.

Maybe they were just Mr. or Ms. Right Now—and that’s perfectly okay.

Now for the harder part…

The DON’Ts

There may be fewer of these, but they’re often the hardest to practice. Be patient with yourself. Healing takes time, and time is always on your side.

Don’t stalk their socials.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Especially if they broke up with you, you don’t need them living rent-free in your head. Your next chapter is waiting for you, and it doesn’t include constantly checking what they’re doing. Let it go, knowing in your heart that it’s the healthiest choice for you.

Don’t ruminate.

Don’t get caught up in “what could’ve been” or only replay the good memories.

Instead, focus on the present. Pay attention to how this situation is making you feel right now. Stop investing your energy into who they could become or hoping they’ll change. Everything happened for a reason, and radical acceptance is your new bestie.

If you've made it all the way to the end of this post, then you can certainly persevere through anything!

I'm always here to remind you, that it does indeed get better - actually wayyyy better!

Ya'll know where to find me!

Xo,

The New Orleans Lady